Horses, humans and truth

Creekside Bike Trail

As I was biking through Park City today, it occurred to me that perhaps the one reason above all others that I love playing with horses is that once you have their trust, they will give all of themselves to you. They will let you know, good or bad, how they feel about you. The key is, it's never personal with them. They act and react and it just is. They don't pull any punches, they don't tell any white lies, they don't embellish or sugar coat. However, they will forgive you so many things that it is impossible for me not to be in awe of their spirit and their willingness to be a partner when approached appropriately.

We humans can't operate that way. In order for our human society to function, simple things like white lies are a virtual necessity. Even our best friends and our most trusted relationships can't be entirely honest. People can't afford to be overly burdened with what other people honestly think of them at any given moment. Our wide and varied emotions would get in the way of every day living.

What’s difficult about that is it often leaves many important things unsaid, especially the good feelings we have for one another. Maybe some people feel embarrassed to express themselves, or perhaps they are afraid of feeling vulnerable to rejection. I think people are just as likely to miss the green lights people send out as they are to miss the green lights horses send out.

I think we miss those green lights for one of two reasons. We are not paying attention or we are afraid of what might happen after we take that next step, or both simultaneously. 

What does Pat say? I think it’s “Work on yourself, play with your horses.” Two important areas on which I need more work: I want to be less afraid of what might happen next, and I sure as hell want to be paying attention, really be in the moment. That applies to humans AND horses.

Beaver Dam

Over the next three days, as long as the weather stays nice, I am riding with Sueanne and her Paso Finos. I will be sure to post plenty of pictures. The mountains here in Park City are beautifully verdant thanks to all the rain and snow they have had this spring. And I love the chance to ride her horses, they are so well schooled and sure-footed on the mountain trails. 


The pix are from my bike ride today...it was really good exercise for my recovering hamstrings.

Creekside Bike Trail

Vacation reflections

Felt really great to take off from Houston to go to Park City for vacation today. Of course, what am I doing while on the plane despite only 7 hours of sleep over the last two days? Watching Linda Parelli helping Lindsey and Allure play on the cloverleaf.

And in case anyone still thinks that riding a horse is not an aerobic exercise, you can hear Lindsey breathing hard as she moves over the cloverleaf over and over. 

And Linda reminds me again, always stop on a good note, even if it’s not as progressive as you would like. Linda also makes a very good point about standing still. Because it is difficult for an extrovert to stand still, standing still while they are calm is very important. Because an introvert likes to stand still, once they have had a chance to think and assess, it is best to move off again.

There was no better example of this than the other day when Maverick did not want to move forward for a walking passenger lesson. He was in a seriously LBI state of mind. I would ask him forward; he would take a couple of steps, then stop. I rubbed him, then asked him forward again, and again, he chose to stop. Sometimes he took two steps, sometimes eight, but he would not take very many steps.

We must have repeated this cycle at least 20 times, but I kept telling myself, there is only joy in this, and the knowledge that at some point he will give me more than eight steps. I am not sure how long it took, but he finally decided to take additional steps, 42 before he finally stopped again. Naturally, I rubbed him, and since this was the last thing I was going to do for the day, I hopped off and fed him cookies, rubbed him and told him what a smart, calm, brave and athletic horse he is.

Such a different approach I have to have compared to Walker. With Walker, it was a relief when he finally decided to stop and stand still. I can remember a session that once I got him to walking on a passenger lesson, he didn’t stop for over 30 minutes. And even then, he could only stand still for a few moments at a time.

And with Maverick, I will need to ask him into a downward transition just before he is about to, and then ask him back up in gait again, so he does not feel wrong, and he feels more motivated to stay in gait, as it is a lot of work to transition downward.

All of this seems so simple, but it also so powerful. And the wonderful thing about Maverick is because he carries no baggage regarding the human, he learns really fast. If he gets a night or two to think, he usually performs any task we attempt again with a great deal more confidence and understanding.

On another note, I managed to get my scholarship video out on Saturday for the Fast Track in November. I really hope I get it, not so much for the money, although it all helps, but because they see something on the tape that makes them believe Walker and I are worthy. Either way, the video was fun to make, and because so many people at Huntington Stables contributed to it, it will make a great keepsake either way.

So I want to give a special thank you to Lei, Brenda, Donna and Wendy for graciously giving me their lovely testimonials on why they think I would be an asset to the Parelli organization. And thanks to my son Ben who braved the 95 plus degree Houston heat over the two days he helped me tape the video.

But mostly I have to thank Walker. He has led me on a journey I could not have even imagined when we started together over 7 years ago. I thought I would try riding bareback and bridleless in the park across from the barn as part of my video, even though we had never done it before.

He was soft and sweet and lovely, and I felt so connected to him. My ultimate goal when I become a Parelli instructor is to make it possible for others to have that same connection with their horses, and to realize even when you think the connection couldn’t get better, it can and will.

Maverick, another Liberty lover!

All Barrels Come with Cookies Don't They?

Just a quick note, I did not have much time the other night to play with Maverick, so I decided an online and Liberty session would do nicely. He was in a very LBI mood to start, so we started out pretty slowly with the touch it game on the 22 ft. line. With cookies on the barrels I set up, he had no problem figuring that game out. 

I sent him over barrels again, which he had no problem with from both directions. Then I asked him up on the pedestal from the 22 ft. and again, after a try or two, he had no problem getting two feet on it. He wasn't quite as confident about four feet, so I decided we would play with that some more on another day. He felt very connected to me, so it was time to take the halter and lead rope off. 

Again, I sent him to the barrels from zone 5, and again, with the help of cookies, he got it right away. Smart boy! Then I laid a couple of barrels down and asked him for the figure eight at a longer distance than we had played before. He was a bit right brained doing this task. I know this because he sped up without being asked and circled going around the right barrel instead of turning and facing so I could send him around the other barrel. 

So I slowed the whole process down, being as soft and as small with my directions as I could and still communicate effectively. After a couple of tries, he walked the figure eight beautifully at which point I asked him up to the trot. Again he did the figure eight beautifully, and I made sure he gave me semaphore ears as he came around the barrels before asking him to change direction back to the middle of the barrels. 

I asked him in, again waiting for those focused, questioning ears, then fed him cookies, stroked his neck and told him what an amazing horse he is. He licked my hand for awhile, I am not sure how long, but it was nice to just be with him, letting him relax. After a bit, he took a deep breath, and laid his head on my forehead, resting his lips on my hands. 

Then he gave me a small nibble on my knuckles, so I thought we would end our session with some liberty circles. I sent him off at a trot, and he had lots of energy, offering a canter at the near side of the arena. He did his own change of direction a couple of times while at the trot. so I thought, "What will happen if I ask him to change direction at the canter?" 

I asked him up to the canter (right lead), and while he was along the rail, I simply turned and stepped back. As he faced me, I stepped towards him, he turned back to the rail and just like that, he did a flying lead change. And he was enjoying it! He controlled his speed as he moved back to the rail. 

I repeated the process, waiting for him to be rhythmic in the canter, turned, backed up, moved forward as he faced me, and, again! a flying lead change. Wow, what a thrill. I asked him in, and he started to come with a lot of energy. I asked him to slow down, give me happy ears, then I asked him all the way in, fed him cookies and stroked his neck. He gave a big blow, then licked and licked and licked my hand. I told him what a smart, brave, athletic horse he is. 

I thought he might want to roll in the dirt, but instead he just hung out with me for about 15 more minutes. Most days, I hate having to leave the barn, but this day was one of those I especially hated to leave. Those moments of partnership were so precious, I wanted the feeling to last forever . . . 

If Only All Horses Could Get the Start Mav Got

Maverick on a Beautiful May Day

With Walker, our relationship started green on green, but more than that, green crazily unconfident (Walker) on green lacking in experience with crazily unconfident horses (me). Now with Maverick although he is green there is no baggage. He likes people. In fact, he often appears to prefer the company of humans to horses, and he is very alpha around most horses.

He is sure his humans have no intention to harm him in any way. He did not start out seeing his humans as his alphas, but the longer we play with him, the more he sees us that way. Without having to worry about what our intentions are (do they think of me as dinner? NO WAY!), he is free to understand we really are doing things for him, not to him. He is free to feel as though we are always playing together, not realizing that he is learning something along the way.

In other words, what I have accomplished with Walker is nothing less than astonishing given where we BOTH started. With Maverick it is nothing less than astonishing how fast we are learning together. And, Maverick is giving me the green light to be brave in ways I could never be with Walker.

Some people say it is brave and a little crazy to jump out of an airplane (done that). But the truth is, it takes much more bravery to trust another creature to take care of you when in fact they could choose to harm you.

Maverick has given me many green lights, letting me know he was ready to move on to something more challenging or thought provoking. It is up to me to be perceptive enough to continue to see those green lights and brave enough to follow through when he gives them to me.

I love my horses! And I love all the people I am surrounded with who support the passion I have for horses.